Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
