the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
