i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
