Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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