so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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