i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
