Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
