God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
