i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hippo gnu deer
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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