the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
