VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
