I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
