That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
