true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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