We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
