that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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