I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
