im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
