I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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