mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
