just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
