Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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