Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
