Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
