youre lurking in front of me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
