I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
