..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
