There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
