put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Bring me that man meat
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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