nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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