entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
