in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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