i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
