Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
