yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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