no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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