You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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