I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
