i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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