My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
