Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
