I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
