this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
