This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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