You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
