Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I understand Curling. That high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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