Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
