I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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