I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
