so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
